Hmm maybe then, some friends in a suburb were saying their neighborhood had aged out of it. The place I went last night was hopping and had a lot of traffic. Maybe the internet has made people optimize their targets?

Trick or treating is alive and well in places where you can walk safely, and houses aren’t too far apart from each other. The problem is too many places in the US don’t fit that description.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Sometimes that extra money buys ethical labor practices, sustainable material sourcing, quality workmanship and item longevity. Not always, there are plenty of scammy “luxury” goods, but there are plenty of brands that are considered luxury simply because they aren’t fast fashion and are buy-it-for-life quality.

This is great, you should be proud. It sounds like you’re a good caregiver to your bunny buddies.

Belvoir Rose & Elderflower Cordial, I love floral flavors and it’s so interesting and complex. It’s perfect watered down on a hot summer day or mixed with some white wine and ice and I’ve never seen anything else like it for sale. Unfortunately, hard to come by where I live.

I like ginger, so I also enjoy Reed’s Extra Ginger Ale. Most commercially available ginger ales don’t have much or any actual ginger in them, and use artificial flavorings, but Reeds is legit and seriously gingery.

For a go-to soda to have on a regular basis I like Ollipop low sugar sodas, especially their ginger lemon flavor.

She got an honorable mention from me in my post. She was a lot of fun to play as and the game would not have been the same with any other MC.

Probably April Ryan from the Longest Journey. She was clever, empathetic, funny, and grounded. She certainly had more than enough opportunity to get annoying over the many, many hours it takes to play that game but I found myself reading the journal that served as a story tracker just to see what she had to say about events. I genuinely missed her during Dreamfall. Though I had a few other favorite games with female protagonists that I loved (like Rynn from Drakan, Cate Archer in No One Lives Forever), it says something that decades later I still remember April’s name, and her major character traits.

It apparently doesn’t have to be as realistic as hallucinating or dreaming to be exceptional though. There are tests for aphantasia that involve picturing a loved one, their face, then some common piece of clothing they wear and if you can see them clearly in your mind and describe them as if they were in front of you that is something reasonably out of the ordinary. You might be “hyperphantasic” too

https://aphantasia.com/study/vviq

The downside is that when I get a song stuck in my head, it’s really in there.

I have a good imagination. After meeting people with aphantasia it seems I have an exceptional ability to call to mind sights, smells, sensations, sounds, and simulate the interactions they would have entirely in my mind. I can imagine a different set of curtains on the wall and tell you if it would clash with your paint, and I can taste a spoonful of a soup and go through a mental library of tastes and combine it with more salt, onion, wine etc and make a suggestion based on what “tasted” the best. I thought everyone could do it but some people don’t have a “mind’s eye” at all. Some people only can see in their imaginations, not smell or taste or hear etc.

I also identify as demi, and In day to day life when stuff needs to get done sex just never occurs to me. I think when your partner says ask, they genuinely mean it. It’s possible for a demi or ace to just forget sex exists entirely for a while.

I also have been in the position where when my partner asked I felt pressured. Maybe talk about making space for intimacy, and designate a time where you focus your attentions solely on each other. Time where you can sit together and cuddle and talk, not putting any pressure or expectations on having sex but instead enjoying each other’s company. Physical touch should be a part of it, but also be genuinely ok with that whether it escalates or not.

Recreate that “date night” feeling, just at home in any hour or half-hour window of time you might have, as long as you can put life aside for a little.

Just about the only way I’ve ever made real money has been online in the manner you’re talking about.

I enjoy thrifting and flipping, which is harder than it might seem to be successful at. It requires familiarity with what a good quality item is, a robust knowledge of the kinds of prices you might get for those things and some knowledge of refurbishment. Most flippers will pick one or two things that they specialize in, usually based on an existing hobby, because they already have a baseline knowledge of it by being interested in it. Being willing to clean, replace parts, paint, fix or otherwise renew the item is usually the most consistent way of making a return on investment that might make it worth your time. However, there really are some golden opportunities which sometimes appear and another needed skill is being in tune to where those show up. The estate sale of some eccentric artist who has an amazing antique collection, or the office that’s liquidating a bunch of computers or furniture, will be advertised briefly in some narrow window of view and time unique to your location and to catch it you need to be quick to act and decisive. I made a ton of mistakes early on and learned to be a lot more careful about impulse buying, but I also got good enough at it to make rent.

The other part of being self employed is the dual edged sword of freedom. You are never at work and yet you’re always at work. There’s no time “off” anymore, any day or any hour you might find yourself working and it’s unrelenting. Unless you are remarkably disciplined you will probably never have a “weekend off”. There’s no meetings or bosses to answer to but that also means that if you mess up there’s nobody else to blame but yourself. It has its own challenges and drawbacks, so don’t let yourself be fooled into thinking you wouldn’t find new things to piss you off.

I don’t have much time to respond so I’m going to just hit one bullet for now:

Are you going to try to argue that Khan and Gul Dukat weren’t given nuance and development? Some of the things that made them such compelling antagonists is that we were given insight into their motives and backgrounds and perspectives. Khan absolutely was nuanced and the persecution and illegality of genetically enhanced humans was a great stepping off point for him. Just about every antagonist that pops up in Star Trek gets some kind of explanation why they are doing the things they are doing, and the crew takes a moment to acknowledge their inherent worth as living beings and, if they’re sentient, discuss possibilities for negotiations or nonviolence. I haven’t forgotten that Klingons, Ferengi, Borg, Cardassians and many others start off as villains, but we are given many opportunities for them to be “humanized” through characters like Worf, Quark, Hugh/Seven, Garak and others. There are no “good” or “bad” aliens in Star Trek.

So keeping that in mind, how did things go with the Ba’Ul? How did they handle Control? What nuance was Lorca given? In Discovery, your first impression of a bad guy being bad is always correct.

I have an intense distaste for Discovery, and wouldn’t recommend it.

I could rant about it a la Angela Collier for 4 hours but here’s my main issues boiled down to a bulleted list:

Some things I like about Star Trek:

• Optimistic future, humans can create greatness and beauty if they continue to check and overcome their faults
• No black and white villains. All antagonists are given nuance and development and many become favored allies
• Themes of teamwork, a functional ensemble, core crew are all valid and valued, no one star of the show.
• No such thing as magic or gods, everything is in the realm of human understanding if we have sufficient knowledge

Guess what Disovery has?

• Nihilistic, apocalyptic future
• Bad guys that are just bad, they’re evil, don’t ask questions
• One principal star of the show that is the focus of nearly every episode
• No attempt to explain things with any veneer of science

Then add on some blatant examples of total ignorance for the universe it’s set in, attempts at ham handed fan service by shoe horning in clumsy references to characters from other series, you have a show that is farther from Star Trek than a 14 year old’s submission on IO9. When it actually let the supporting cast do things, they were charming and likable, but Stamets, Saru and Tilly weren’t enough to keep me from getting mad at just about every episode.

If you don’t really care about or know anything about Star Trek it can be entertaining I guess, but why watch it when there’s Strange New Worlds, Lower Decks and The Orville?

Iron supplements, vitamin C and moderation all help so hopefully no need to give it up entirely 💜

I’m so glad I could put you onto a new lead!

Here’s a paper I found that has some good info, especially the Dietary Nickel section. It has a food table under the treatment section too.

I went to my doctor about it too! She was convinced it was something I was physically in contact with so I was trying to eliminate types of fabrics, changing detergents, soaps, my cleaning gloves, wearing shea infused gloves at night, etc etc and at the same time I was eating dark chocolate nearly every night. I finally cut back in an effort to lose some weight and the rashes got better. Someone somewhere in my searches mentioned the nickel thing and it all clicked. You can search for “systemic nickel sensitivity” and “dietary nickel and dermatitis” and see if it sounds like what you’re dealing with. If so, I’m glad I could help!

Dark chocolate. I’ve apparently developed what appears to be a nickel sensitivity that manifests itself as itchy rashes on my hands, and guess what has a high amount of nickel in it? I’ve been ok at cutting out other foods but while I reduced my intake I’d rather be itchy than give up my chocolate.

When I lived in the city I was dead broke but had a great time. I hung out at the library, which was its own cool thing but also served as a community hub to let me know when the local Gurudwara was doing a luncheon, or when crafting clubs met, and having a library card also came with some museum passes. I learned about all sorts of cool, free goings on through my library.

There were also local attractions that had free days or days for locals, and there were street festivals nearby that had live music and performances. One of my favorite things about living in the city was hearing the sound of live music and walking out the door to go follow it to some cool, hitherto unknown to me event that was happening.

We also went ice skating on the pond in the park (free if you had your own skates), or went biking on bike paths. We built snow sculptures in public parks and gardens and just walked around exploring. There were lots of beautiful and interesting buildings and side streets where we could get pleasantly lost.

The key part of where I was is that it was walkable, and there were plenty of “third spaces”. I understand not all cities have that. However, if you’re in the US I highly recommend starting with your local library.

People tend to very much not consider how fucking awful everyone smells when almost everyone is a manual laborer, washing machines don’t exist, indoor plumbing largely does not exist…

This is a common myth but people absolutely did wash and do their best to stay clean. Being smelly was just as undesirable as it is now, if not more so because it was commonly associated with disease. People would have a ewer (pitcher) of water and a basin in their bedrooms and wash themselves every morning and evening with a cloth. Of course scented oils and perfumes used to be a huge business, but even people who were extremely poor could make or buy “posies” or sachets of sweet smelling herbs, grasses and flowers and carry them with them. As another poster said, they would also wear natural fibers like linen, hemp, cotton or wool that don’t hold on to scents as much as polyester or rayon do. Even if they had one set of clothes, they would have at least two under clothes like shifts or shirts or tunics and wash them regularly in ammonia and hot water.

Deoderant would probably be a neat trick and on par with an expensive perfume but I doubt it would be on the level of magic.