I grew up poor and I think a good measure of whether someone is poor or lower middle class is “Did your parents help you financially or did you help them?”
I never thought about this topic like this. FWIW I’ve done both. Always got financial help (Dad payed for my car, stuff that was not covered by scholarships, vacation, extra curricular classes or interests, etc.) and then when he lost his job I helped financially for a bit while he got up on his feet again. I miss him everyday ❤️
Somewhat the opposite. My mom started “borrowing” money from me when I was a teenager. I was too trusting, but eventually i learned to say “no”.
Fuck, I haven’t thought about any of this in a long time. My mom was awful.
Edit:
I forgot to explain why borrow was in quotes. Most of the time I never got paid back. I still believe she intended on paying me back, but was never able to get ahead financially enough to do it. In general if she borrowed less than $100 she’d get it back to me and pretty quickly. Over $100 it would take her too long to save it up and she’d forget about it.
So sorry your mom behaved like that. Mine would say “Oh you got birthday money from grandpa? Here, I’ll save it for you” and of course when I wanted it back, she would get bent out of shape yelling that she had given me life and she wasn’t expecting anything in return So why should I. Awful all around.
Not since I was kicked out at 15 for being gay.
Happy Pride month!
Financially, no.
With babysitting? Absolutely.
That is a pretty big help financially… indirectly anyway.
Kind of. I live with my mother so the house expenses are shared - sometimes I’m short on money and she covers it for me, sometimes it’s the opposite.
Sometimes either of us cover my sister’s financial arse too, even if she doesn’t live with us.
My parents have never helped me. They’ve never been able to. On the other hand, we’ve given them a fucking car to make it easier for them to help us out with watching kids and running them around. Then my dad bought a Jaguar. And he has a boat. And a truck. But they didn’t have air conditioning for about a decade because they couldn’t afford it.
I love them, but they are selfish and stupid when it comes to money. As long as they leave my sister (who is disabled and unable to work) some extra money when they pass so I don’t have to pay a bunch for her, too, I’ll be happy.
Sounds like they’re addicted to materialism. Buying fancy toys to show off.
I don’t understand the Jaguar at all. He keeps it in a storage facility and I’ve never even seen it. Whatever. I never counted on any kind of inheritance from them, so I guess they can spend it up however they want, but I’ve been out of work for three months now, chewing up the meager retirement I’ve managed to save just keeping bills paid, and it’s just frustrating.
One of my friend’s life ambitions was to own a Jaguar, and he finally managed to buy a used one. He called his insurance agent to add the car to his policy. The agent was like, “Oh, a second car, a Jaguar, no problem. How many miles do you think you’ll be putting on it each year? Five thousand should be plenty, yeah?”
And my friend is like, "No! I’m fixing it up and driving it everywhere! I need lots of miles!. and the insurance agent is very quiet and then suggests starting with 5k miles and see how it goes. Whatever, my friend thinks, this guy just doesn’t understand the allure of the Jaguar!
He fixes it up, gets it running, here about three blocks from the house and it breaks down. Pushes it home, fixes it up again, gets about five blocks. This goes on for months.
Eventually, my friend changes his car insurance back to 5k per year, and acknowledges that he’ll never ever ever reach that much. It’s mostly a garage princess, not (entirely) out of a desire to keep the body fresh, but more because it constantly needs babying.
I’m not sure your dad’s Jaguar is any better.
HahahahahahahahahahhaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
No, see, I owe them, because they decided, 36 years ago, to have another kid. And now the burden of love falls on my shoulders, after being kicked out at 17 for ‘talking back’? Nah brah, I’m good.
They can both go fuck themselves entirely.
I can’t imagine the kind of shitstain that would kick their kids out as a teenager.
I like to not imagine them either!
I’m doing really well now despite it all. Got some great inlaws.
Well, mine are dead but my mom kicked me out at 17.
My first set of kids, I gave a little money towards college (they got scholarships and aid that paid most of it, we were quite poor) so they didn’t get student loans, and the younger ones I am letting live at home and feeding them and all as they are doing school locally but no cash, they have jobs.
As adults? No, not financially, but since they helped me with the younger ones I do have some indebtedness towards them. So sure, when they need something I try to help.
They all say they’d be happy to have a big ol family home with everyone in it, but if we ever do that I wouldn’t think of it as helping them at this point. Would be everyone helping each other.
Yes, my mom and I own a home together, because she is divorced, and I am legally blind, which makes it a bitch to find work. I’m actually doing better than her though because I did not fall into the stupid debt trap with high interest credit cards or student loans and since I’m blind I can’t drive a car so don’t have insurance and a car payment to worry about. So while I am not rich by any means, I actually have more money every single month than she does. Easily. Except for tax time, that is. That time she does have more money than I do, but only for a short time until it gets eaten by the credit cards.
No, not since high school / moving out of the house. I did live in the house for a few years after high school while commuting to a local college and working part-time (full-time during the summer), that certainly helped me get on my own feet even if it wasn’t specifically financial.
My parents weren’t particularly wealthy. At one point they had even declared bankruptcy so I didn’t try too hard to get any school loans through them let alone anything else regarding money.
A very related question to ask is: did your parents, or extended family, ever help you financially?
Here’s my answer.
Have I ever received help from my parents and/or extended family? Yes. I was able to live rent free after high school while I found my way. When I eventually started college I was able to live at home and commute. My family started a college fund for me when I was little, so I was able to cover about 15% of my in-state tuition. We also got a cash loan from my Grandma to put toward a down payment that we paid back over the course of a few years. Without it we wouldn’t have been able to buy our house.
Am I getting help from my parents or extended family now? No, I haven’t for years. Money and support have started flowing the other direction. I’ve given my mom a (used) car and also let her live with us for a year and a half while she switched careers.
They did. And probably would again if necessary.
They would love to but we’re all equally fucked in this economy tbh. We’re all just trying to make more money so we can help each other out when someone needs it.
They did up to when I graduated college and I’m very grateful.
Money left to me when one died has made my life tremendously easier. It’s unfair, really, and I had a lot of complicated feelings about it but worked through them in therapy.
