Just tell the interviewer how great their feet look.

They’re called “broadsheets.”

No I think the Canadian government is taking advantage of the situation. I mean, where do you think Canadian geese are manufactured?

Hmm I wonder why.

Pro tip: If you’re proposing a regulation that every company opposes, that just means that you need that regulation even more than you thought.

Only the best Xmas movie if all time - Gremlins.

I have seen geese, but they’re Canadian geese.

That’s the least problematic result. "We all love meaty food and we know you don’t so we didn’t invite you to the Delicious Meat Showcase.’

All these folks buying gold and my apocalypse plan just involves a handle of whiskey and one bullet.

While it has what can be considered a use case, to increase your visibility in the dark. However it’s a terrible solution. Instead wear a high-vis reflective vest, and/or wear some kind of clip-on lights. I’ve got a high-power clip-on flashlight that I put on my belt for when I have to walk into our dark-ass parking lot, or otherwise need to see where I’m going and don’t want to risk getting run over.

Like he hasn’t wasted enough tax money on stupid ideas.

Obviously.

I’ve seen it occasionally where they’ll marry a makeup artist or stage hand or something. Sir Patrick Stewart’s wife is a theater actress, IIRC. But I can’t think of many cases where some A-Lister married somebody they saw sticking shelves at the Walmart.

Conservative weirdos out there going nuts about vaccines and 5G, and meanwhile all that Vitamin P they’ve got in their brains is like “lol now hallucinate deficit spending on turning feral hogs gay.”

LOL I knew that would happen the day they announced it.

It made him look like an idiot, but the question is did it do that on purpose? or is it just worthless trash?

But, and hear me out, what was his job description?

First existential crisis? Don’t worry, they get easier after a few. The answer is simple once you learn how to embrace it: it doesn’t matter. Real, fake, it’s completely irrelevant. Go get high, play Halo, get some ice cream, and let somebody who gets paid to think about this stuff deal with it.

Stupid cultists. This exact thing has happened for thousands of years. Some years back one of these rapture cults popped up and I mentioned to my coworker that the world was ending. His response: when’s it happening this time? Comedy gold.

No, they want you to buy another Roomba. Open your wallet, feed the capitalism machine

Okay fine, I’ll switch to my flying carousel pony.