“You are a king, then!” said Pilate.

Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

“What is truth?” retorted Pilate. With this he went out again to the Jews gathered there and said, “I find no basis for a charge against him.

Four Color Theorem

He tells a good story about prank calling Stewart’s wife and convincing her that Patrick was going to be getting home late that night.

It’s simple and early, but I love this bit from the Ed Sullivan show back in 1967.

Hoggle is my example of why most CGI characters in live-action movies are unnecessary. Hoggle is an incredible feat of puppetry combined with the performance of the actor inside the suit, and if that can be accomplished in 1986, then don’t tell me that a practical character can’t be done today.

L3-37 from Solo is a great example of how to merge practical with CGI. You get the actors real performance, the human actors on set get something real to interact with, and then CGI can fill in some of the gaps and do the things that physically can’t be done in reality.

I got her autograph at Dragon Con and she said that they paid her garbage for that gig, but that she loved hanging out with David Bowie.

Image search duck penis. You will not regret image searching duck penis today.

I’ve seen parents pushing toddlers around strapped into a stroller with a tablet mounted on an arm right at the kid’s eye level. Even if the kid wanted to stop looking at the tablet, they’d have a hard time. They’re basically Ludovico Technique-ing their own kids.

Spring:

Keg Petesbreath

My understanding is that it’s more like sucking a dick than like getting your dick sucked.

The grapefruit reference is accurate. I’d describe it as floor varnish thinner mixed with hyper-concentrated grapefruit rind. The interesting thing is the way it doesn’t actually smell that bad, but then it starts terrible and gets worse after a few seconds. I’m convinced there’s some interesting chemistry going on in there where it degrades into other chemicals as it oxidizes in your mouth.

The only remotely comparable flavor I’ve ever had is…

…Unicum, which tastes like a cedar chest smells, and I was more than a little afraid would make me go blind.

0/10 for both, would absolutely recommend if you want someone to establish a baseline for “absolute worst-tasting thing ever deliberately consumed that is technically meant to be consumed.”

Q: Why don’t you ever hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

A: Because the P is silent.

Five-card stud suddenly takes on a new meaning.

Isn’t this basically what Archive of Our Own was founded for? They may focus on fan fiction, but it seems like one could start a conversation with the Organization for Transformative Works to add another wing for this sort of content.

I listened to an NPR story around Halloween about a young married couple in the early 1900s who moved into an old house.

Right away, the place is clearly haunted. Weird cold spots. Doors that are open that they know they had closed earlier. They hear footsteps sometimes in rooms they know are empty. They awake at night and are aware of malevolent human-shaped dark figures in their bedroom. It’s basically a laundry list of classic haunted house tropes.

They call in a priest, he says some prayers. Weird phenomena continue. House is still haunted.

They call in a gas guy. He fixes a leaky gas pipe. Symptoms go away. House is no longer haunted.

Yes…

…but also…

I’m not sure if it’s himself but John Spencer had an oddly specific career type cast as “guy who is smarter than the people around him and is totally exasperated with having to deal with their nonsense.”

From WarGames to The Rock to The West Wing, he’s that guy. So consistent.

There’s like… one percent of one percent of advertising that has ever been created that actually had some kind of artistic or entertainment merit. Those insane Spongmonkies ads for Quiznos. The H&M ad Wes Anderson did. It’s so vanishingly rare as to not meaningfully count, but it does happen once in a blue moon.

1: Closing Time, by Semisonic, but that’s because I put it on when I’m trying to hustle people out of the store at the end of a day

2: Batman Theme, by Neal Hefti

3: Evil Plot to Blow Up Batman, by Neal Hefti, but those are because my daughter kept insisting she wanted to listen to the 1960s Batman soundtrack on the way to school.

Numbers 4-6 are from the Frozen Soundtrack for the same reason, then back to 1960s Batman for 7-9.

10: The Batman Theme, by the Ventures. Kid loves Batman.

Then there’s more Batman, more Frozen, and a song from The Little Mermaid.The first song that I consistently choose to listen to for myself and that hasn’t been artificially inflated is #15.

Victim of Love, by Erasure.