dammit math is hard when you’re high

no in kilograms

alexa how much do i weigh

hold on i’m doing weed maths

i never claimed to be able to read

I still have mine (and the nes and snes) in a box in the garage. I wonder if it works.

IIRC that one doesn’t have skip protection

I joked to my wife “hey I got a joke I got to tell you about the government away from microphones” and my phone’s flashlight turned on across the room. My nsa agent is working overtime.

The doctors made me this way I’m not sure what they’re gonna do to help

You’re right crow of medicine I could use another joint

Type 4 Bristol scale or are we talking some other stool types

I am currently in process. Haven’t stopped pooping for 17 years.

Rookie numbers

If I’m in one type of mood (not necessarily good nor bad) I can recharge anywhere with anyone. if I’m in another type of mood (again neither necessarily good nor bad) there’s nowhere I can recharge. I’m not sure what that is.

Most Julys the local shelters have kitten deals to get rid of their overabundance of cats. We got ours for 18 bucks each. For when you can get them again.

You be you. If it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone, who cares what you do?

Wife takes me to the doctor’s office

Middle aged me: see above

This sounds like the rpg I have been waiting for

yeah i’m not running with a belt on and a walkman would not be great for keeping my pants up.

I don’t wanna be up all night shitting