I have a Dyson smart air purifier / heater combo in my room. It has a mostly real time app that shows whether the air is healthy or unhealthy. One night I was laying in bed and felt some gargantuan ass thunder brewing, so I aimed my cheeks toward the Dyson and watched gleefully as my air quality went from green to red. Technology is amazing.

Giddy up!

The English Patient. Sex in a tub? That doesn’t work!

Imagine Dragons

Oh no, if only I had a 12 ft ladder… 12ft.io

“Chef overcooked my burger. Antisemite.” -Uncle Leo -Jerry Seinfeld

I used to live in downtown Oakland, notoriously not the safest city. I was stumbling home from a night of drinking around 3am one morning, and this guy on a bike rolled up on me out of nowhere and he just goes “hey man, you scared of black people?” He was an older black man that appeared to be disheveled and possibly living on the street, and I legit just laughed and was like, no, I grew up in a city, and I live here, so no, not at all haha. And he just goes, “Alright. You have a good night.” and he rode off.

Like 5 years later, I’m waiting for my bus one morning to go to work, and the exact same thing happens. Rolls up on a bike and asks me if I’m scared of black people. Again, I say no, kind of being like dude leave me alone not this again, and he replies “I know you’re not. I remember you. Have a great morning.” He shook my hand and rolled off, never saw him again. Just such an odd experience haha.

Or she’s still my friend and mentor, one of those two, I’m not sure.

You wouldn’t believe how harmful it really was. She’s still in the hospital to this day with her own 24/7 support staff and therapist, a decade later, over the amount of harm this caused. It’s insane.

I had a wireless plug with remote that you could plug any electric device into and toggle the power on and off. One day, I took it into work and plugged my boss’ monitor into it. Every so often, I’d turn her monitor off for just a second or two and then turn it back on. Maybe once or twice a day to start, but then I’d do it a little more.

This went on for weeks to when she finally reached out to IT to get a new monitor. Well, I was ready for that and had the IT guys already in on it. They told her they were out of working monitors and that the ones the company wanted them to use were backlogged. By now, most of the floor was aware of what was happening. She’d slap the monitor, curse, it was hard to keep a straight face.

After a couple weeks of this, I had my friends in the mail room make up a dummy package from one of her clients and deliver it to her desk. Inside was just the remote. She opened it all confused, pressed the button and her monitor went off and we all lost it. She was so red in the face but took it really well and couldn’t believe she never thought to look under her desk lol.

Google “Hong Kong, Tijuana”, best Chinese this side of the border.

Note to self: sell laptop on Facebook marketplace in September 2025

I forget which Samsung galaxy model it was, maybe S6, but it had a universal IR blaster built into the phone which was super convenient for controlling all of my devices. I did however often abuse the shit out of it by flipping the channels on bar tvs or turning off the stereo receiver and nobody was ever suspecting it was me on my phone. I guess that’s probably why they removed it lol, but it was fun while it lasted.