“I teleported home one night, With Ron and Sid and Meg. Ron stole Meggie’s heart away, And I got Sidney’s leg.” - The Teleportation Blues
Hi there! I’m just a guy looking for a place to be and stuff.
“I teleported home one night, With Ron and Sid and Meg. Ron stole Meggie’s heart away, And I got Sidney’s leg.” - The Teleportation Blues
“You encounter a grandma. Roll for gelt.”
Tonight we dice in hell.
“It’s the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that’s not important right now.”
“Please count to 10.”
“… um, I’ve run out of fingers.”
Hold my 401k, I’m goin’ in!
“Replicator, give me a slice of mushroom pizza.”
“Hot or cold.”
“Hot.”
“Space-warping travel mushrooms or the ones that grow on old logs.”
“Uh, the log ones I guess.”
“Coward.”
“You want me to play a robot? But I want to show off my acting range!”
“Don’t worry, you’ll also get to play two other robots and a couple of old guys!”
And – inexplicably – it has darkvision.
“Aaass yoooou–” *squish*
cries in broadcom wireless card not supported
*dabs corners of mouth with a cloth napkin*
*erupt like Vesuvius*
barbarians
blahbarians
“You already reversed the polarity? All right, but did you really? Let’s do it one more time while we’re on the phone together… oh, it’s working now? Yeah, that is weird, goodbye.”
I can’t remember which model it was, but wasn’t there a MacBook Pro that had 4 USB-C ports, only two of which supported Thunderbolt? Want to connect your monitor to the right side of the machine? Well… tough shit, I guess.
“Crap. Did anybody slot Magic Missile? Anybody? Oh come on!”
“It’s okay, I brought a Bag of Holding full of air with me. Now I’ll just put it on my head, and…”
Well, my parents were worshipers of Ishtar, so I was kind of born into it…
“You have much pain… share it with me.”