• volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      Why I have a phobia of them? (Along, btw, with maggots, larvae, caterpillars, etc.) I don’t think I can give you a good answer, because, well, there is no rational answer to that. I understand they are harmless to me and even good for the environment. Which is why the thought of a place of earth that is both healthy and worm(-alike)-free is literally a paradise dream to me.

      There is no reason for the complete and utter shock feeling. I can’t explain it. But I would, for real, rather die than get close to this. I am very willing to chop my arm off to not touch one. I know I was very lucky for the last 32 years to have avoided these situations and I don’t know what to do when they will come up some time in the future. But I do stand by what I said and I think and reconsider it on a regular basis. So far I would rather die or chop my arm off. It’s not a feeling like a panic attack, it is a constant panic mode, a shock, a feeling of existential threat.

      You might wonder why I don’t do therapy. The big problem is that I absolutely don’t want it to be otherwise. I don’t want to not have this phobia, I just don’t want the triggers in my life. The thought of looking at a worm and be ok with it is nothing that I feel is worth aquiring. Irrationally, all of you who are just ok with these creatures or tolerate them are the weird ones to me. How does it not make you panic? It feels like the natural and right response to me. At the same time, I know why - because there is no harm. I know your reactions are normal. I just, emotionally, absolutely don’t want this to be normal.

      PS: I’ve been thinking for days on whether to reply or not and decided this time to not delete that worm related comment but actually try to tell you. My first reaction on replies when I happen to comment on this issue is to delete every evidence of me ever talking about worms so that I don’t end up being further engaged or ridiculed. (I understand the latter, I always try to imagine someone having a phobia of squirrels, which are like the cutest thing.) I also tried my best to spell the words out, which is hard to me. I usually just write ~ when I text someone. Anyway, sorry for the late reply.

      • Coreidan@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Hey I didn’t mean to sound like I was ridiculing you. I wasn’t sure if you were joking or just being absurd. I genuinely was curious why you have a phobia.

        I get it. Some people hate spiders or snakes or anything that doesn’t resemble comfort. It’s not exactly uncommon.

        I am sorry you feel that way and have to deal with that phobia. Just know you aren’t alone.

        I hope you can find peace. Thank you for replying.