average american bread moment
(I, an European would like to say that this is objectively wrong)
We Americans know. This is done out of resourcefulness, when your too broke or too high to get better bread from the market.
Excuse me, I just don’t care, all carbs are valid.
CARBS ARE CARBS
That is the kind of bread no real Baker here would touch. They leave that crap to the supermarkets.
Even Aldi has about 30 different types of bread…
And they are not even a bakery.
Actually… Sliced bread is something I only use when there are no alternatives.
That’s not bread, that’s a disgrace.
Y’all are like
Yum! This fermented sheep asshole and rotten cabbage is true food culture!
But you react to soft sweet bread like a vampire in a 60s horror flick reacts to holy water
Because it is a disgrace to bakery… I love bread but that is disgusting
And all those regional European delicacies are a disgrace to cooking. I love food, but those pickled-shrew-taint type things are disgusting.
I was commenting on the hypocrisy of you calling what is just a plain soft sweet bread disgusting, while all these European countries get a pass on their regional abominations of food culture.
I know that plain white bread is not great, but it’s basically just a really boring cake. The ire is unreasonable.
The bread tastes fine, but the ingredients are awful.
Like what?
I’ll grant you they’re not artisanal breads with handpicked ingredients - but not all brands load up on nasty preservatives, and people make white bread themselves, too.
American bread is classified as cake where I live because of the amount of sugar in it.
Right. Literally like I said earlier - it’s just a boring cake.
I didn’t realize that Europe considered cake to be such a terrible thing
Using every little bit of an animal you have killed in order to not waste the life is actually awful.
However, prioritising profit over substance, shortening leavening time and adding sugars and preservatives is actually wonderful.
I didn’t realize Europe had ethical issues with boring cake. If I could roll my eyes any harder at your disingenuousness, they’d pop out of my head.
No, go back to your foie gras, the absolute paragons of virtue that you are. We will just have to satisfy ourselves with bread that is occasionally shelf stabilized, like the absolute monsters that makes us.
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*cakephobia
This is not bread, it’s cake.
German bread would probably come as a terminal shock to you.
We have like 5 different types of hot dog buns in german Aldi, just one of them is that bland…
“All around the world, and coast to coast,”
tap tap tappatappa taptaptap
“People always ask me what do I like most.”
tap taptap tappatap tap
“I don’t like to brag, I don’t like to boast,”
taptap tap taptap tap tap taptap
“I always tell ‘em I like toast.”
tap tap tappatappa taptaptaptappa taptap tappatappa taptap tap
“YEAH TOAST!!”
Oui monsieur bonjour croquette
t-tkt tktktk t-t
Uh huh croissant et vous et ver
tkt-t tktktktkt
Maurice Chevalier Eiffel Tower
t-t-t-t tkt t
Oui Marie baguette bonsoir
t tkt tkt tktFrench toast!
frnh tns…
That garlic bread is gonna be pretty bad considering it ain’t got no garlic.
Also it makes you fat.
thank you!
If I cared about that I might not like garlic bread. I’m already fat. What’s it gonna do? Make me fatter? Pfft. Yeah right.
“Bread”
Don’t forget French Toast
I don’t see a single slice of bread in this picture.
That’s the driest garlic bread I’ve ever seen!
the same captions could be used for hamburger or hotdog buns.
Left out buttered toast. Can also add jam or cinnamon sugar.
I was 100% thinking of Ed when I typed that
Also: proto-croutons
