Have you considered employment with HP’s printer division? They could really use someone like you.
I tried to print out their application, but for some reason my printer bricked itself after I bought some 3rd party ink.
Friend of mine said he tried inserting a third party cartridge and his HP printer pulled a gun on him.
I knew this guy whose HP printer shanked the delivery guy as he was delivering third party cartridges.
I went to the supply closet today and saw with my own two eyes 3 HP printers had our only Brother printer cornered. I backed away slowly and told no one.
You can’t just leave a Brother behind like that
I really didn’t want to but I’ve had run ins with that HP 5200 in the past and Betty is still covered in toner stains from when he/it dusted her. She was gently cleaning his roller when he suddenly exploded all over her face and hair. Milky white skin, blonde hair, both hands… totally covered in hot black toner… literally forced her to face clients the rest of the day covered in his letter batter. Sorry, not sorry.
My hp printer drank my beer
This was a plot in an iron man comic.
Wat
Superior Iron Man! The lead up to the story is: a lot of Marvel heroes were magically turned evil, things happened and they all were returned to normal, EXCEPT for Tony, who somehow managed to avoid being returned to normal AND hide that he was still evil, and went on to do some decidedly “modern billionaire tech bro” horrible shit with his advanced tech.
What a fucked up storyline. Still a good read, though.
This has already happened…
No genie though
in reality the genie is like “man who needs a monkey paw when this guys around”
Is there a free tier where really annoying advertisements are constantly displayed in your field of view?
Yes, and we’re all currently subscribed to it.
Just a second, I think I can hear Keith David and Roddy Piper brawling in an alley.
I love the hell out of that movie, but that scene is like the cinematographic equivalent of trying to pill a cat.
Elon? That’s you?
When you die:
That’s functionally how life works if you wear contacts, so 🤷
Or glasses. Or need eye drops. Or glaucoma medication. Or have literally anything other than unchanging 20/20 vision lmao. At least in the US
Twist: Payment is on the form of a text or other short note telling you something memorable they saw, a relative, a friend, a flower, a tree, a cat, a dog, the list goes on. The emotional impact of these notes cause you to weep. Your heart grows. You can’t stop crying. Dehydration sets in. That growth on your heart, it’s a tumor. You die. It looks like the Joker killed you. Genie always wins.
Genies don’t do monkey’s paw. They are literalists
Wouldn’t it be easier to just wish for money?
But then you wouldn’t get the full billionaire experience
