Dunk it in water, squeeze it into a tight ball, and take bites like it’s an apple.
I’m not sure if I should upvote this or downvote this…
You angrily upvote it for being technically correct and then sneer while downvoting for being a crime against both humanity and nature.
…a plate?
A plate
I prefer to call it a “Platform for Lateral Accumulation of Trace Eatables”
Or a PFLAOTE for short!
Toss the croissant up in the air, lean my head back, and eat it one big chomp
This article sounds like the result of assigning a middle school student to write an instructional essay with a required word length. The middle school student asked chat GPT for help.
This shit probably makes up over 50% of the internet by now.
If you don’t want flakes, don’t eat a flaky pastry.
Use a plate to catch any crumbs.
You just blew my mind.
Or a plastic bag.
(NB, do not put a plastic bag over your head. Even for a croissant)
Well, if you can loop one handle around your neck and keep the bag safely under your chin, you should be alright.
It would make my day to see someone eating a croissant with a feed bag hanging from their neck
I’d like to see a Scotsman on a horse!
Are you Emma Hamilton of Nelson?
I don’t 👍
I like to peel each layer off and eat them one at a time while I work
D:
I stick a vacuum hose up my shirt and zip tie it around my neck so that it catches any loose flakes so that I may eat them later.
Simply get bad croissants that aren’t flaky and leave crumbs everywhere. Like what you’d get from a gas station or rest stop vending machine.
Eat them outside walking to work.
This comment was made by a bird. Likely a pigeon. We are looking into it.
Coo
Awesome idea! And maybe you leave a trail of crumbs for birds :)
Good way to make friends with crows / ravens. Then they adopt you and maybe defend you if you get in a fight.
Or in case you need to find your way home again!
Just follow the birdshit
Lots of people have already tried to answer this but I’ve not seen the correct answer: in bed
I always eat messy things by leaning over my plate, or carefully taking bites above a bag or whatever. I like being fastidious.
My stomach gets in the way.
I bite into the widest part of the middle first, then I peel the layers apart individually and eat them with a fork and knife.
