I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.
Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.
To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.
I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.
I feel like I’m missing something.
You’re the smart one. Fuck the haters. Ignore them.
Ignore them. If you can, should you try and stagger the time off with your s/o. Don’t take it at the same time.
First of all dont tell your coworkers shit. It almost always becomes ammo for them later.
Definitely take advantage of every state program you can. You paid for it already. People talkin shit are fuckin smoothbrained trogs
I came into this thread thinking I’d just post “Uhh, it was pretty nice?”
Then I read the post text. Jesus fuck.
The other comments are probably right, no real point in doing anything but ignoring them. But goddamn, my first instinct would be to try and call them out on that bullshit attitude. No way am I clever enough to do it effectively, though.
Those first few months, especially with your first kid… man. The sleep deprivation alone makes it worth it. Not to mention all the firsts that happen so fast that you’ll otherwise miss… presumably to work for “the man.”
Am American, but been lucky enough to work with people who understand this, and maxed out all paternity leave I could get.
Fuck those people dude. When it comes to children. The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy the time you have with them when they are little and don’t miss out on all those amazing moments. I took 12 weeks with my kid and it was wonderful to just watch her grow. Take benefits where you can, fuck the haters.
Pretty sure THEY are the ones missing something. They’ve been brainwashed into thinking you should be embarrassed NOT to shun your family so you can be at work 24/7 to make someone else rich. Take advantage of that program while it still exists.
Enjoy it. A great number of people in the US have been conditioned to tie up their sense of worth to their job, and can’t comprehend there’s more to life.
I’d take 12 years paternity leave if I could.
I’m fortunate to work at a place that offers some leave for paternity, but with the option of being “flexible” about it. I’ve seen most of my coworkers take off for 2-4 weeks (out of 6), then return to work half time or so once things start settling. Two have taken all 6 weeks, one for medical reasons (baby needed follow up), and one purely to spend more time with baby/wife.
I haven’t needed paternity leave, so I don’t know how much more money you get for returning to work early, but I think I’m inclined towards taking 3 weeks, then coming back to work unless there’s something wrong. There’s a bunch to admire about prioritizing your time bonding over money, and I don’t want to take anything away from that - it’s just not me.
My main thought on paternity leave is that it should be exactly the same as the maternity leave so that there is no difference between hiring a man or a woman.
Any man that thinks work is more important than spending time with the family is a bad father. I say this as the son of a bad father.
It is a no brainer dude. Absolutely take the leave. You know how the work culture is here in the US, it’s pretty ridiculous. The “Live to Work” crowd is getting pretty old now though so I have seen a shift in corporate culture where I am at.
Work is something I do, not who I am.
Americans have been indoctrinated to feel their work is their worth.
It’s just hyperbolic masculine capitalism being parroted. Live in the U.S. south and have dealt with many friends and their relatives who have said the same shit. I’ve been around long enough to see those same people completely fall apart when the lives at home just crumble because they’re too busy with work (illness, deaths in family, etc). They always eventually come to regret the decisions and times they’ve missed once they get in their later years.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to prioritize a work career in one’s life though, but hating on someone else’s choice is just ridiculous.
Life at home would have to be pretty bad for me to rather be at work.
